Monday, 19 May 2014

A Sunny Outlook

It's normally that time of year again when I start to moan. I start to basically moan about how lovely the weather is. Like some old bitter crone, who's been dragged out of her dark cave for an airing. However, this year, I feel a bit more relaxed about the prospect of sun. I think it's because of the new house. We have lovely outlooks of trees and the valley, and there are birds singing, and the breeze rustling the birch trees, and walks down by the river... it just makes me want to do a bad Julie Andrews impression ("THE HILLLLLS ARE ALIVE, WITH THE SOUND OF MUUUUUSSIICCC"!!). I fear that if I attempted that I would probably
a) scare my daughter and those around me
b) fall over from all the spinning, and
c) get people telling me to get a grip because I live in the middle of a city...not the Austrian Alps.

It's great though. The best thing is that Lib loves being in our new garden. It a good size, self-contained, and has pockets of shade which is ideal for me to sit and watch her play. She's getting lots of fresh air and exercise, and I no longer feel like I need to be stuck inside and miss out on everything (having said that, it's not been horribly hot yet, so I might be a different story once it hits the high 20s +....if it does). Even just sticking my head out the window, looking at the trees and watching for birds for a bit makes me feel a better though.

Lib talking a walk down by the river (not visible, but I assure you it's there!)

Of course, the sun has still had a bad effect on my MS. When I stopped Amantadine, it became obvious how much it helped. I've started confusing words again, not being able to take things in when more than one person is talking, having long pauses when I'm talking, losing my concentration, and forgetting things very quickly. At the moment, they are the symptoms (rather than the tingling and the stiffness) that are noticeably flaring up if I get tired or if I've had too much sun, so much so that I'm going to have to be careful to not do things like drive when I'm particularly bad.

I could buy one of these....

but I think it would have to get very very VERY bad for me to do so.

I've had moments when I've felt particularly worried about my new symptoms, but then I have to remind myself how lucky I am that the Amantadine worked for me. I know that as soon as Baby No. 2 arrives I can go back on it and hopefully see the benefits again. In the meantime, my MS should pack up and take a holiday while I'm pregnant, so I'm in a good position.

I went to see my consultant the other day, and told him we were planning on having another baby. I had just approved for Aubagio, so I wanted to make sure that I would be able to go straight on it after finishing breast-feeding. Not only did my consultant think us having a second child was a good idea (always reassuring), but he said by the end of the year, I'd be spoilt for choice with the medication I could try. He went through the effectiveness of a few right there ("this one stops relapses by 50%, this one 75%...etc etc). I'm not ashamed to say that when I got back to the car, I burst into tears! I cried out of relief. I've had MS since 2001, and for the first time I felt genuinely positive about my future. After all, when I first tried medication for it, the effectiveness was 25%. Perhaps in another 10 years there will be something out there that can suppress it completely?!

It's a nice thought.