Saturday, 20 June 2015

The Baby Diagnosis.

Do you have dark circles under your eyes?
Check.
Are you so tired that your legs feel like jelly?
Check.
Have you been walking around aimlessly/stopping in the middle of a room trying to remember what you were...er...?
Check.
Have you been putting random things in the fridge/dishwasher/cupboards?
Check.
Have you been wondering how your nearly 4 year old has managed to become so very LOUD all of a sudden?
Check.
Have you been wearing inside out clothes?
Check.
Have you missed out on a shower/bath today?
Check.
Have you missed one or more meals today?
Check.
Have you been pooed/vomited/wee'd on by small person today?
Check.
Have you found yourself thinking "how did I think this baby thing was hard first time around?!" today?
Check.
Or "No. Seriously. What did I do all day last time?!"?
Check.
Or caught yourself thinking "So its inappropriate to go to the toilet with a baby in a sling, right?" after spending far too long getting one to finally fall asleep.
Check.
Have you found yourself sat on the toilet quietly weeping this week?
Check.
Have you consumed your weight in chocolate/cake/biscuits recently?
Check.
Have you started to feel the ill effects of said diet?
Check.
Have you considered the possibility of mainlining coffee?
Check.

Have you looked into pair of eyes today and thought about how flipping lucky you are?
Check.

CONGRATULATIONS!!! YOU HAVE A ONE MONTH OLD SECOND CHILD!!



*sigh*