Monday, 27 April 2015

35 weeks and just as clueless!

The juggernaut of impending labour is still making it's slow and steady way towards me, though at the weekend I feared it was revving up and heading this way rather too quickly!

I had a bad week last week. I had a day of bad anxiety attacks on Wednesday, and I think the stress of that set off a period of false labour. I had had all the signs that labour was close (however, it's so easy to 'see' symptoms and signs at this stage that you'd normally shrug off...a bit like when you're trying to get pregnant. After all, I wouldn't have thought anything of having cramps, 'period' pain and a few other symptoms a few weeks ago). Things did build up though, and by Friday I started to get regular intense Braxton Hicks contractions and I confess that I did start to panic - which probably didn't help! By Saturday I was contracting every half and hour, and called the midwife to relay what was happening. I was concerned though that having such bad anxiety had set things off, and I had no idea whether you were meant to get in touch with them quicker if the baby was pre-term. Junior was moving very erratically as well, but as I remembered from last time, the panic going on in your head rarely gets reflected by a midwife (I guess they've seen/heard it all!). She did say it sounded like early labour, but told me just to rest and see what happens, so that's what I did....my head buzzing with the 'what ifs'. I found a link on ways to slow down early labour (rest lying down on my left side, and drink plenty of water), and over the next 24 hours it calmed things down a lot. Now I'm just back to having occasional Braxton Hicks, which is normal, but I'm still taking it very easy. I actually, according to Si, had a similar thing happen in weeks before Lib arrived, which I had completely forgotten about. 

It did throw a mental spanner in the works though. I had the fact that I would be going into Cossham planted so firmly in my head that the thought of not being able to (you have to be 37 weeks to give birth there) panicked me. I know how stupid this is though, because it's not like things went to plan last time around! Since things have calmed down though I feel more relaxed and reflective about it. I'm obviously hoping he'll hang on to at least 37 weeks for his sake, and I can go to Cossham for my sake and have a more relaxing birth. 
On the other hand though, if he did make an appearance early, I know that going to Southmead will mean him being in the best place. At the end of the day, it's just a room somewhere....and when I'm in labour I'm not really going to give a crap where I am anyway so long as I get through it!! :)

The last week has made me realise though that any assumptions I had that I would know what I was doing this time around is nonsense. I'm feeling just as confused and clueless as last time!