The Self-Induced Relapse

Ah, the havoc kids parties can create. Not only is the house a tip afterwards, but they shake me right to the core. Lib was 6 the other day, and we had not one, but two parties for her - a family one, and a friends one. I remember last year saying I would never do two again, but low and behold I did not heed my own words this year.

I love them, I really do, but the planning, executing and aftermath takes it toll. I did a hell of a lot of baking (which again, I love) but that ultimately means a lot of standing in one place. Not good for the MS! Or in other words - strike 1. Then there’s the running around at the actual parties - strike 2 for the MS.

Strike 3 comes from the bipolar. Running on adrenaline and manically planning things means I tend to become too high because my body can’t regulate things properly. And what comes up, must come down, so after everything was done, I crashed on an epic scale and ended up in bed for nearly 3 days. I became tingly and fatigued, and was suffering from exhaustion and depression. So yeah, another example of how everything takes it’s toll.

It wasn’t a serious relapse, so I didn’t get in touch with the MS team and I knew what it all stemmed from, but in my mind it was what I like to think of as a minor-relapse. One that will ultimately get better after a few days of rest. And it did, so everything is fine. But it did get me thinking about how fragile life with MS can be. Just a simple thing like organising a birthday can derail things on an epic scale. But how am I meant to cope with life as a Mum of two kids and still maintain an even keel on my MS? Life with kids is hectic, and not exactly predictable. I guess the answer is help. Asking for it, which I confess I’m really bad at doing, and accepting it when it’s offered. Plus, and perhaps more importantly, I need to accept that perhaps I can’t do what ‘normal’ Mum’s can do. Working around this is going to be tricky for me, mainly because it means that at 6, Lib is now old enough to take on board things that are explained to her. So is it finally time to have a ‘conversation’ with her, or do I just carry on casually mentioning my MS in passing in the hope that it sinks in? It’s a tricky one for sure.

Cake cake cake