My Stick and Me

I haven't written for a while - the brain fog has been epic!

Whether it's stress, or just tiredness I've found concentrating on things really difficult. 

But I'm back on form...for the time being anyway. 

Today I wanted to write an ode to my stick. 

I've always had a tempestuous relationship with my stick. I used to be sooooo self conscious when using it, and frequently put off by people's stares. But as time has gone on, I'm starting to embrace it.

It's just an aid. That's it. It doesn't define me. I just use it when I need it.

That being said, I've never been particularly happy using it. 

However, that changed recently. I watched a fantastic documentary the other day called Introducing, Selma Blair. The actress Selma Blair was diagnosed with MS in 2018, and the documentary charts her experience as she has stem cell treatment. Now, I'm certainly not going to go down that road (I don't think I'm eligible for it anyway due to being diagnosed for so long) but her strength and fortitude was infectious. It documented her struggles really well, but her attitude remained stoic. 

There was a very affecting part of the film which showed Selma walking the red carpet in a a gorgeous dress, but with her cane. She has such poise, and then she breaks down in tears because it is all so overwhelming. This really struck a cord with me. As an MS sufferer, what I present to the world is often the opposite to how I am feeling. Sometimes it does just get too much. 

The main thing I took from Selma, was how you should never be afraid to have a bit of style as a disabled person. Often I wish myself into the background, but why shouldn't I own it. 
Yes I walk with a cane sometimes, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't do it with my head held high like Selma. 

This is who I am. Get used to it. And if you don't like it.....you can sod off. 

So in the spirit of Selma, I decided to pimp my stick up and make it a bit more interesting, and a bit more 'me'. 

This is my tired old stick. It's actually the first one that was bought for me when I was 18 years old, so it's served me well. The ergonomic handle is sturdy and comfortable.  

And this is it now - 

I left the sparkly handle I gave to it years ago, and used Mod Podge to stick some beautiful wrapping paper I found in John Lewis to it. The colour is a vibrant jade green (though you can't see it much in this photo). I then gave it two more coats of glue to harden it. I think it's much more me, and I'm kind of proud to go out with it now!

It's funny how just putting your stamp on things sometimes can change a whole outlook.