But this year I just can't seem to shake myself out of a funk. Christmas was fun, but I think it's so much build up, and I've been so tired that it's taken its toll. My health has undoubtedly been better, which is amazing, but last month I really struggled to pace myself in a bid to get everything ready for the big day. And that's just it isn't it....it's essentially one day. Once the presents were opened and the shine somewhat diminished, I was ready to try and get back to normality. What a humbug. In fact as soon as the tree came down we had a big clear out of old toys games, which felt great but was short lived.
I think the issue is that I struggle with things out of the ordinary. I struggle if I'm taken out of my usual routine, and Christmas in particular kicks up things that are an anxiety sufferers nightmare. You have to socialise for one, which on a good day can be tricky enough, but when tired it becomes so much harder. You have to physically do more (like shop) which is bad for the MS and fatigue (thank god for online shopping though!), and you get invited to things that you desperately want to do because it's festive and happy, but when you're tired, you just aren't feeling it. You have to cram things in to your ordinary busy schedule during the Christmas period, and that's never good for me because I tend to feel overloaded very quickly.
Moan moan moan moan moan.
No, of course it's a lovely time of year, it's just a challenge. And that's why the blues have been so bad because truth be told, I'm knackered. But how to help?
Well of course, first things first I need to catch up on rest rest rest. Now the kids have gone back to school that's my first priority. I slept all morning yesterday and it has helped a great deal. Having a few days a week to get some 'head space' has also been good. Just a few hours to get my head back into the swing of things. Plus, now that we're back into a bit of a routine my anxiety has calmed down again.
Things are looking up. This is a new year, and one full of a whole new set of adventures with the kids and achievements, however small they may be. I'm hoping to start some sort of freelance work (maybe in copy writing) when Ed starts school to keep my brain ticking over. It's going to be a shock to the system having both kids at school all day. First and foremost though, I need to make sure I take the time to look after myself in 2019. I'm sure I say that every year, but I do think I'm getting better at it.
Yep the blues will go, and good times will happen, I've just got to make sure I use my CBT techniques to keep on top of everything this year.
Happy New Year!
No comments:
Post a Comment