Time to take the next step

So recently, I've been talking a lot about being kind to myself this year, and I mentioned not putting the pressure on myself to lose weight. 

Well, I've been doing a lot of thinking. I've realised that in order to be kind the myself, I need to treat my body with the respect it deserves and be the healthiest I can be. I'm 40 next year, and on that day I want to be able to look at myself and feel happy and confident in my body. I'm kind of tired of hiding under baggy jumpers. 

As it stands I need to lose 3 stone in order to reach a healthy BMI. This is no easy feat, and I'm kind of ashamed that I've let it get to this point. But, it's the 'year of kindness', so I'm not going to beat myself up about it. It is what it is. I've had two children and a disability. 

However, I do, without a doubt need to lose some weight. For my mind as well as my body. It'll help my confidence, and kick start a healthier me for the next stage in my life. But as I've said before in this blog, I've found juggling losing weight and my MS incredibly difficult. I can't get stuck into a new exercise regime (trust me, I've tried on countless occasions) because my fatigue makes it extremely hard to be consistent. 

My diet is fairly healthy (though I confess I ate way to much sugar over the Christmas period...see previous post) so there's not too much work to do there. 

So what now. Well....I've realised the sticking point is ALCOHOL. 

(Photo by Jeff Siepman on Unsplash)

I love to have a glass of wine. Not to get drunk per se, but I just like wine. However, since lockdown, my drinking has become more of an issue, mainly because I started using it as a coping mechanism. 

If I was stressed or anxious, I would have a glass of wine to calm my brain down. However, one glass of wine became 2 or 3 and I found it hard to stop. Also, there's the social aspect to drinking. I rarely go out  (the same for most of us now I'm sure) so the tradition of sitting down with Si to have a bottle of wine on a Friday night was nice. It made me stay up later (I kid you not, I'm normally in bed by 8.30pm) and it felt sociable and we were spending quality time together. 

However, I found that I would now do this on a Friday and Saturday night. Meaning Sunday normally involved me feeling like crap, because of the booze and less sleep. Gradually, this merged into Monday too. I also ate badly all weekend because I was drinking/felt like crap. 

It came to a head the other day when I weighed myself on the Monday and realised (after a week of watching what I eat, I had put on 3lbs!)

It's water retention I thought....but no. The 3lbs stayed on. 

I realised that weight loss was never going to happen if I continued drinking. Lightbulb moment!

So I've stopped. I won't go as far as to say I'm sober (I'm not going to beat myself up if I want a glass of wine for a special occasion for example), but I've stopped drinking regularly which is a big step for me. So far, it's been great. I weirdly felt liberated, and positive for the future. Now I know I won't drink regularly, the weight loss goal seems so much more obtainable. 

I've set myself a goal of losing minimum of 1lb a week. For 52 weeks, that's approx 3.7 stone which would mean I'd be in the healthy BMI in time for my birthday next year. 1lb a week is completely do-able without me going insane or feeling like I've put too much pressure on myself!

I will undoubtedly keep you posted! If you have any weight loss tips, post them below, I'd love to hear them.